I Believe My Semen May Be Enchanted

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Once Sam cleans up all the pieces of the mug and thinks about what she did, I sprawl out a bunch of different low-level monster quests on the table so I can see all of our options at once. Dewhurst was a famous Guild for many reasons, but the sheer variety of monsters in the immediate area made it suitable for new adventurers especially. 

To the east, we have verdant and grassy plains. To the north, farmlands, followed by the Bellepar Timberlands and the mountains of Bragos. West is a sparse, rocky region, and to the south, we have access to the fabled Gnarled Woods of Arrark.

On top of all these other great locations is easy access to the Labyrinthe of Light dungeon found only a few days northeast of here, a convenient place supposedly created by the Goddess of Light, Lux Ultima. The floors are constantly shifting, and heroes can find tons of randomized loot, provided they make it through the perilous monsters and traps. Yes, Arrark, and Dewhurst as a whole, has always been an astounding environment to nurture any up-and-coming adventurers.

Unfortunately, we can't make good use of all these locations. Not yet, anyway.

The only thing Sam is qualified for right now is a handful of kill quests and some generic fetch quests. The Association pays gold for adventurers to go out into the wilderness to gather herbs and other alchemical ingredients. Then, Guild alchemists process the ingredients and sell the potions they create straight back to the adventurers. It's just as manipulative as it sounds, and the prices are exorbitant- even if you sign up for their monthly potion subscription service.

At the very least these gathering quests make it so even the weakest bronze-ranked adventurers have plenty of options for safe work. Another good bonus is that I could accompany Sam during them without much fear of danger. We need the money to improve the Guild, and it's not like the Association would know I'm leaving my post to gather herbs.

Not as long as I file my reports the right way.

Sam looks over the quests on the table for herself, "I don't care what we do Boss, as long as you're making money off these, I'm up for anything." Or so she says, but judging by the eager way she studies the kill quests on the table I can tell she isn't being completely honest. She'd much prefer if she got to go out and kill some monsters.

"I don't need any of the gold Boss, the Guild needs it more than me... but I'm sure we can work out my rewards later." The way she says the word 'rewards' makes me uncomfortably certain she isn't just talking about room and board either, the cheeky brat. 

Teasing aside, I'm not sure how I'm going to report this to the Association yet. 'Yeah, don't worry about it, bro' isn't something that the AoA will take as an excuse for why I'm not making deposits into Sam's Guild bank account.

If I don’t pay her, they’ll see it in my documentation, so I suppose I'll just store her payments in her official Association bank account. If I actually need to use any of Sam’s gold, I'll document it as her withdrawing the funds herself.

Even if I don't have to follow all of the AoA's policies, documentation is the one thing I can't screw up on.

If there's a significant reason for the higher-ups to doubt my reports, this could lead to a formal review. If that happened, they could send someone to check out the Guild, and to my understanding, they might find legal ground to repossess my home if things aren't up to their standards. For whatever reason, this has never happened before. Probably because they don't care about this location now that they have Perlshaw, I'd wager. Still, they could drop by tomorrow, and I could lose anything, and there'd be nothing I could do about it.

A scary thought- especially now that my life is finally starting to change for the better.

There's no use worrying about things out of my control, though. As long as I'm careful in my documentation, then things should carry on like usual... at least until I start making enough gold that it attracts the Association's interest.

I have more pressing matters to be concerned about. Namely, Sam's friend.

Sam is absolutely sure that this new adventurer of hers will be on her way here within a few days. Usually, traveling from Imperalis all the way to Dewhurst would take a month or more... but given how this 'Zutiria Syndaline' of hers is supposedly a powerful Mage, she could show up as early as tomorrow if she uses the warp stone network.

Each major city in the Realm of Karnalle has a large warp stone that Mages- and only Mages- can use to travel long distances. It only works when traveling to other warp stones, and you can only bring a small amount of inanimate luggage with you when you go. The few types of teleportation magic that exist are convoluted as all hell, and most fly over my head. All I know is that typically, teleportation is impossible for living beings- with a big asterisk.

If I’m honest, most of the specifics of how magic works is beyond me. I've read more than a few books on different schools of magic to familiarize myself with the different types of adventurers I might one day manage, and in the past, Miss Hart has even tried to teach me how to perform some myself. We discovered quickly that I don't have the aptitude for it, to put it lightly.

I'm sad to say that my only strengths seem to be documentation, paperwork, and sex. Guess I'll just have to learn to deal...

For whatever reason, Sam is evasive whenever I ask her about Zutiria. She's insistent that I'll love her and that's she's 'totally super cute', but my mind is racing from the idea of someone else around here. I indeed need more adventurers, but I haven't even adjusted to my new life with Sam, and now she's gone and invited someone else into our strange dynamic. I hope she'll be older and a bit more mature than Sam. Gods know I adore the girl, but I don't know if I could handle another one around the same age as Her Highness.

Then, I'm worried about the declaration I made to build myself a harem Guild...

I meant all that I said. I really do desire to have a harem. What Karnallian male doesn't? I just thought I'd have more time to gather my confidence and grow more comfortable with the idea. In Sam's own words, she believes that the Mage would be 'down to clown', which I don't even know how to process.

As exciting as the idea of coupling with a second girl so soon after my first is, I decide to not get my hopes up. It would be terribly sleazy to expect this random stranger to sleep with me just because Sam thinks it's a sure thing. I'll look at it this way- if things turn out well, lovely. Second girlfriend; acquired. If not, second adventurer; acquired. Either way is a win for both me and the Guild as a whole.

Speaking of the Guild, I think it's time to actually get started for the day. I've been dreading about the Association and asking Sam about Zutiria long enough.

At my suggestion, Sam will spend another day hunting down more Slimes so we can further work on her basics. She's not bummed about it in the slightest, understanding it'd be good to have more time to work on her fundamentals before moving on to something slightly more complicated. Especially since it's been three days since she practiced.

I know I'm partially to blame for that, but I think pussy is all the excuse I need.

Sam heads out the ruined front door to do some stretches, warming herself up for the adventure ahead. As for me, I go to pack up and prepare enough supplies to keep Sam hydrated and fed for the day. Even if she's not wearing a bulky set of armor, and even if the weather is pleasant, she'll still be sweating like crazy from all the training I'll be putting her through during the Slime hunts. We were only out for an hour last time, but today we'll be out and about for a lot longer.

Together, Sam and I hurry through the city, proudly holding hands. We had to get out of the way for a sizable merchant caravan coming in from Cransmere, but we make good time, and we're out on the eastern grassy plains before you know it.

Excitement pumps through my veins. Today should be nothing but smooth sailing, I think to myself. My ever-present inner pessimist disagrees. That nagging part of my brain makes sure to remind me that if I've learned anything by now, it's that nothing ever goes according to plan. Not as far as my luck is concerned, anyway.

Shaking off the negativity, Sam and I find the first Slime of the day almost right off the bat.

With an excited grin, Sam readies herself for battle. She doesn't rush in like she might've done before, but instead, she assumes the correct stance I taught her and eyes her opponent up. Seeing the girl take my advice to heart is almost enough to bring a tear to my eye. Sam isn't fully confident in herself, though, and she keeps looking to me for guidance.

The young warrior leads with her dominant foot, taking small steps towards the unaware foe until at last the Slime takes notice of her and registers her as a threat.

The Slime leaps towards Sam, utterly unaware that all it's doing is accelerating its own doom.

Sam gathers her power by raising her blade overhead before shouting and slashing down with a powerful attack. It's a lovely swing. Balanced almost perfectly and without hesitation. By all accounts, it'll cut up a Slime clean as can be.

But when it makes contact, that's when the strike takes both Sam and me for a wild ride neither of us could have seen coming.

Rather than slicing the Slime clean, the Great Blader's sword just about evaporates the entire monster into a thin mist from air pressure alone. Sam's face becomes shocked at the sudden increase of both velocity and power. Before she can even react, the sword finishes its downward trajectory by smashing into the ground below with the force of a miniature earthquake.

It crashes into the earth, rending it solely from the tremendous impact of her sword alone. Grass, dirt, and everything else unfortunate to be within a couple feet of the blow is sent hurtling up into the air thanks to this massive strike. As the thick cloud of dust settles into the surrounding area, the Slime core materializes nearby, throbbing uselessly as it searches for fluid.

The liquid was splattered too far apart for it to regenerate and in only a few minutes, it will oxidize and die.

Another battle ended, this time even easier than anticipated.

Sam stares at her weapon in awe and then turns to me. Sorry, Sam. Like hell, if I have any clue about what this is all about.

"What... the... fuck?!" In a confused frenzy, the warrior starts swinging her sword around carelessly. She's trying to see if someone tampered with her weapon, by the looks of it. "I knew it felt a little lighter today, but no, seriously, dude... what the hell is this?! Is this how much of a difference having the correct stance makes?"

"Sam, don't be stupid. Changing your posture is not enough to suddenly grant you the strength required to tear the Gods-damned earth asunder."

"Well, do ya gotta better answer? Cause this crap just doesn't happen overnight, y'know!" She barks, conflicted emotions showing on her face. On the one hand, Sam is concerned and confused. On the other, she can't believe what she just did, and it makes her feel like a total badass. Granted, she most certainly is a badass if she can keep this up.

"I don't know what it could be... you haven't trained in three days." I really rack my brain over the coals, trying to think of what the hell could explain Sam's sudden power surge. Despite never wielding a sword, Sam was born with a great deal of innate strength, most likely due to her Royal bloodline.

The Kings and Queens of Karnalle have always been known for their strength, among other things, so I didn't bat an eye at her power until now. Besides, I'm a Guild Master. I've seen stranger things than a teenager who can carry around a giant hunk of iron like it were a walk in the park.

I start mentally retracing everything the two of us have done until now in the hopes of catching anything out of the ordinary that could possibly explain this current predicament. The answer should be obvious when I consider everything that's happened until now, and Sam inadvertently points it out herself.

"The only thing we've been doing for the last three days is having sex, right? I don't understand..." The Princess lodges her sword into the earth, grabbing her twintails and pulling them in frustration.

My palms clasp the sides of my throbbing temples, and I let out a deep, deep sigh. For a moment, I close my eyes and rub my eyelids, thinking about how I can't handle this. Still, I know it's the correct answer. No matter how absurd and worrying it may sound, there's nothing else it could be.

"...Boss?" Sam catches my abrupt change in mood. "Did you, uh... did ya figure it out?"

"Let's just say that I have an idea."


"Promise me that you won't think I'm crazy?" I know it won't do any good, but some reassurance would at least make me feel better about saying it out loud.

"...Um. Kay?"

I take in a deep breath of cool air, hold it down for several seconds, and exhale. "I believe there is a significant chance that the source of your increased strength... may be due to having sex with me. Specifically, from having my semen inside of you."


A calm wind blows across the warm, grassy meadow. The shimmering sun shines, letting down its heavenly rays onto the Realm without so much as a single cloud to block its light. Birds sing their lovely songs, chirp, chirp, chirping away in the distance. It's a nice day- a beautiful one. A perfect day for realizing that I have balls full to the brim with magic jizz.

Sam takes a step forward, and without a word, she reaches up with her arms and wraps them around my neck, pulling me into her cleavage. She strokes the back of my head like the gentlest of heavenly angels, and in a calming voice, says, "It's ok, Boss. We've both had a pretty tough day. I spooked you back in town with the Mayor, and we had a pretty serious talk back there at the Guild. If you aren't feelin' it, that's totally cool. Let's just go home, get you some rest, and we'll try this shiz again tomorrow. No big deal."

From the lovely valley of her barely armored breasts, I look up at Sam and say, "I’m dead serious. I think my cum makes you stronger."

The Princess loses a bit of her motherly charm, her face becoming skeptical instead of concerned. "Boss, you’re stupid. Is anyone home up there? C'mon," She playfully starts knocking on my skull with her gloved fist. "You're supposed to be the smart one!"

"And what if I were to tell you that I have personally witnessed your pussy glowing pink shortly after cumming inside of you?"

"Are you shitting me?" She squints and furrows her brow.

"If only," Sighing, I clench my eyes shut from stress.

"Well why the FUCK didn't you tell me about this sooner?!" She grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me, her cheeks crimson and her eyes confused.

She's understandably rattled, and the reasons I put off telling her are less than noble. I've been intentionally pushing this fact out of my mind during the last three days of lovemaking. I didn't want to deal with it, and I still don't, really. But I can't avoid the bizarre situation any longer. Not when it's the only rational- and I use the term rational extremely loosely- explanation for the exponential growth in Sam's strength.

Tension gets the better of me, and I push her off of my shoulders, barking, "Because I wanted to keep having sex with you, obviously! If I pulled out and said, 'Hey, Princess, can't help but notice that your cunt puts on a magical light show every time I give you a creampie,' then you would probably want to stop until we figured it out, and I didn't want to stop, damn it!"

Sam tilts her head as she stares back into my eyes. "You... didn't wanna stop?"

"Of course not, you're beyond beautiful, and whenever we make love, it feels like everything is right in the Realm. Why else do you think I got swept up for so long?" I answer the Princess purely on impulse, but it comes out a lot more romantic-sounding than I intended.

Rather than minding the emotional tone, Sam seems to enjoy it.

"I mean... I thought it was just because you're a total perv and that I was a bad influence on you, but.. that's, uh... that's really sweet of you..." Sam steps backward, twiddling her twin-tail and puffing out her pouty lips.

"Aaaanyway... this is more than a little fuckin' weird, and I think we need to go back to the Guild and have a nice, long talk about this... Daddy." She tacks that magic word on there, sounding half threatening and half dripping with sultry implications.

Nodding my head and sighing for what feels like the fiftieth time in the last three minutes, I agree to Sam's wishes, and we start back on the way we came.

Making money for the Guild will regrettably have to wait. Zutiria Syndaline will be here sometime during the next few days, but until then, the Princess and I are going to have a lot on our hands. We need to do a lot of testing, and as strange and uncomfortable as this situation is, I take solace in the fact that I'm about to get laid very, very often in the name of science.

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Rise of the Guild Master